A message from Zemu
Zemu is great
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Four billion items
Zemu lists over four billion items. Nobody has counted them. The number goes up on its own, which our engineers describe as "expected" and our accountants describe as "the matter under discussion".
Prices that are lower
Every price on Zemu is lower than the price next to it. This is achieved by writing a larger number next to every price. It is the single most effective thing we have ever done and we intend to keep doing it.
A letter from our founder
When I founded Zemu in a garage that I did not own, I had one idea: what if a person could buy a Meat Spoon at eleven o'clock at night, and then keep buying Meat Spoons. Everything since has been logistics.
People ask me what Zemu sells. I tell them: momentum.
What our customers say
- "I have never once received the item I ordered and I have never once been unhappy." — Hank D.
- "Zemu is the only shop that has ever called me at home." — Marisol T.
- "It arrived. Something arrived." — b1gsteve41
Zemu is a fictional storefront built as a capture target for zshot. Nothing on this site exists.